Three quotes

Three recently memorable utterances:

"Diamonds are overrated. Wiis are forever." -- my boss

"C as in Charlie, A as in apple, F as in Frank, H as in...something that begins with H..." -- Mike T., cube neighbor

"That puppy is soooo cute! Except it's pooping on the rink." -- random skater, observing Bettie Krueger's Jack Russel puppy laying turd on our rink

it's on, bitches.

Saturday, December 29, 8pm
Tampa Bay Derby Darlins Exhibition Bout
Terrace Sports, 5311 E Busch Blvd, Temple Terrace, FL 33617

my choice is...Zooma Thurman!!!

The survey results are in! Check out my alter ego: Zooma Thurman!

You may notice that the name I chose is NOT the winner of the most points in my "weighted vote" scale below (2 for perfect, 1 for good). I decided to take some responsibility for the fact that lots of little girls attend these bouts, and therefore opted not to take a name that conveyed or implied alcohol -- no matter how much I love my tequila.

It was, however, a close race, and I'm tickled with the fact that my top choices got the most votes too!

Name	"Perfect" Points	"Good" Points	Points Total
Maggie Rita (#4-2-1)	16	1	17
Zooma Thurman	8	5	13
Mad Donna	8	4	12
Imelda Blockos (#1060)	8	3	11
Audrey Floorburn	4	7	11
Marilyn Monroll	8	3	11
Brooklyn Bridgette	6	3	9
Pain Fonda	6	3	9
Kissy Goodsmacks	2	6	8
Cinderolla	4	4	8
Sadie Blockins	4	5	7
Betty Booty	6	1	7
Lady Diatribe	4	3	7
Steffi Graffiti	4	2	6
Vanessa Agressa	2	4	6
Starblocks	2	3	5
Emilia Big Deal Ya	0	5	5
Emilia Playhard	2	3	5
Monica Lewinskate	2	2	4
Virginia Suicide	0	3	3
Mrs. Johnny Depp	4	3	7
Jackie Smacks	2	1	3
Janie Smash	2	0	2
Mary Skate	0	0	0

Write ins:

• Lilith Notso Fair, Ho' Lottapane, Ginny Hoffa, Nasty Nancy, Maggie McKill, Ma Guerita, Ripya Newwon, Roxanne Rolls, Tee Wrecks (my father)
• Writer's Block-er, UMass Mauler, My Brady's Daddy, Obi Blonde Kenobi, Darth Skater, Blockimus Prime (Jon, obviously - lol)
• Duchess of Debauchery, Alotta Pain, Sadie Slayed/Slain/Slayer/Killer, Sugar Smacks (Autumn)
• Slamin Sweaty Steffi (someone on comcast...)

a special, secure day for me.

Ah, a blast from my past...

Today, as a new employee at my new job, I got an RSA SecurID token in the mail, and it felt like a wonderful trinket of nostalgia. Before I could even get back to my desk, I ripped the package open to examine my new and improved key fob.

I pulled out the documentation, examining it carefully for any signs of familiarity. But my company customized the Getting Started -- there were no instructions for checking my package -- so I knew it didn't come from my doc friends at RSA, a division of EMC.

I went to the URL provided in the doc, which was a location on our intranet. Immediately the RSA SecurID tour kicked off, and I envisioned Debbie smiling like Vanna White when that new tour was unveiled in Flash several years ago. I decided to skip the tour, because I knew more already than any person should about two-factor authentication. For me, it's three-factor: something I have, something I know, and something I know all too well.

I went back to the intranet to find the registration site, knowing I'd need to enter that elusive serial number and choose my PIN. I caressed the light grey fob between my fingers as Web Express loaded on the page before me. WEB EXPRESS!! And all its signs of Gideon with those little red angle bracket buttons that resemble the company's logo. I still have some of those business cards...






Ah, Web Express. It brings me back to the days of long meetings in dark rooms with giant bags of Skittles...and Shane. I'll never forget it...

Barb and I were munching on a giant bag of Skittles to stay awake in the marathon Web Express teleconference. When the Skittles were gone, Shane passed a dollar across the table at me. "Thanks," I told him as I passed the bill back, "but you don't owe me anything!"

"No," he said, returning the bill to me. "Go get me more."

I said lots of colorful things about him after that day.

But back to the point! The point of exciting burst of nostaliga! So many fond memories brought back by my brush with destiny! Look how the word "passcode" is no longer in all caps! And how ACE/Server has non-breaking spaces around the slash! I remember how those third party licenses used to cause such stress...or maybe that was the Marketing department. Who cares!

In the end, I intend to be planful and flog my fob to my best of my ability. I'll put it on my keychain and hope that they re-engineered the static flaw, and that I don't have to "reenter" my PIN (please, no hyphens) when using the Query Tool.

I miss you, RSA. And by "you," I mean the cafeteria grill cook who made my grilled cheese without butter. And Shane.

i need advice.

Just in case you didn't get my email, please help me pick my new roller derby alter ego by taking this survey:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=tjfg2w9ZgNCGQ1ddzXq4cQ_3d_3d

I have too many ideas -- and I could go on FOREVER -- but time is now of the essence.

(I got online to pay my electric bill. Three hours later, I've got a survey and a new blog post.)

update from duluth

tonight is my last night in duluth, minnesota. and i'm a little glad, really. it was -18 degrees this morning with the wind chill.

aside from that, however, it was a pretty good week at the new job. it got off to a rocky start when i flew in on monday and flew out...also on monday. i was in town for about 6 hours in between. but i got back in town tuesday night, and spent all of wednesday and thursday (today) training with my new colleague cory. we wrap it up tomorrow before i fly out again.

i gotta say, i can't WAIT to get back to florida. warm, sunny, wonderful florida.

Theodore Allen - November 23, 2007

My memory will forever see him as the big jolly guy in the yellow butterfly shirt.

We love you, Ted.

i'm a safe driver!

i got my new florida license today, and according to them (and contrary to barbara's conviction of the opposite), i'm a safe driver. yup! safe. says so on my license. i'm also an organ donor and was thrilled with my photo.

mostly, i was shocked at how the florida dmv experience compared to my last few brushes with the massachusetts dmv. i was in, out, and holding the new license within 7 minutes of walking in to the dmv. my last mass experience rounded off, roughly, to 2 hours. but that was 7 years ago. so maybe things have improved there.

anyhow, i'm all legal now. and off to bed. the dogs woke me up at 6:30 this morning, and i'm playing auntie/babysitter to jasmeen bright and early tomorrow so...i need my sleep!

indications of progress

i would have written sooner, but i've been so busy! (and tired.)

so the unpacking has continued with great success. today donna and i tackled The Books. anyone who has either a) been to my home, or b) helped me move, knows that my book collection is the largest, not to mention heaviest, percentage of my belongings. so getting the bookshelf assembled and the books unpacked eliminated 8-10 boxes, plus all the dvds and cds too. it literally brought light into the house -- all those boxes were stacked in front of windows that now allow sunlight to pass through.

i've been doing laundry, trying to unpack and arrange my office (the second bedroom), replenshing my food supply, setting up my front porch, and, of course, shopping. i'm trying to get as much done as possible before i get to play auntie babysitter this week -- though i am looking forward to it. :)

tomorrow, we have an errand that is essential to the outcome of my move: pedicures. don't laugh, i'm serious. i'm wearing flip flops in november. my toes need to look good.

i got me some wheels!

yay! i have a new car!

after nearly 5 hours of paperwork, i am the proud owner of a new honda fit sport -- red!

and, contrary to the rumors i've heard, the fit IS go. vroooooom!

hey good lookin'!

who wouldn't want to tickle the bajezus out of this kid?

soothing sounds

"This," I said, "is the sound I've been waiting for."

"What sound?" she asked.

"That fantastic hiss of water rushing into the washing machine, and the gentle whirr of the dryer as it tosses my clothes. Isn't it wonderful?"

Phase 2: Arrival in Florida!

I am safe and sound in Florida, and so eager to get started cleaning and shopping for my new apartment that I can't sleep. And I'm actually mad that walmart doesn't open until 8:00!

So, things yesterday went well, for the most part. The moving truck guy was an idiot and was 45 minutes late opening the store, so by the time he arrived, there was a line of people waiting for him. I was 5th, and apparently lucky to get a truck. He had only 12-footers left, so I couldn't upgrade to the 16. We took the 12 and I led Mikey through the streets of Brooklyn.

The movers were waiting for us when we got there. They were phenomenal. At $15/hr/guy, they were well worth the money - and then some. They ferried everything from the apartment to the truck. We left Mikey in the truck "FREEZING!" while the movers brought stuff down. Mom, Katie and I were frantically filling final boxes and disassembling furniture upstairs.

The truck was filled to the BRIM, including a few boxes in the front cab. Of the stuff that remained, it was either left for the new tenant, put out for trash, stuffed in my suitcase, or Katie took it home. Unpacking that bad boy is going to be a challenge.

I eventually got to the airport around 6:00, which was right on time for my 7:00 flight. I even had time for a burrito! I was afraid the TSA would open my suitcase and think I was a terrorist. It had the most random crap in it: a toolbox, frying pan, clock, pantyhose, prescription medication, a ziploc bag of allen keys, a power drill, a hairdryer, and some makeup. But no one stopped me, so I must just be "under surveylance" now.

So anyhow, I'm here and all is well so far. I'm hungry, the dogs are hungry, and I guess I'll go feed us all!

breathe in...breathe out...

Okay, so, whoa. It's "that time" and I don't know how it got to be "that time" already. Yikes!

Well, it's 1:30am and my back hurts from bending over so many boxes. I'm feeling moderately panicked, and I'm hoping that I can have a really well planned, highly functional day tomorrow. Um, today.

I have a lot of stuff to do...

• Pick up my Zipcar.
• Drop off bags of clothing to donation center.
• Go to the market for food for mom and Michael's drive.
• Find beer for Michael (to be consumed while NOT driving).
• Get cash to pay hired movers
• Get cash in small bills for the toll booths
• Return cable boxes to cable office 1.6 million miles from here.
• Bring signed lease paperwork (yahoo!) to realtor.
• Buy more boxes, if necessary.
• Put EVERYTHING left into boxes. Everything.
• Break down computer and pack it with love
• Confirm the rental truck
• Pick up mom and Michael at the airport
• Other things I can't think of right now

Clearly, I better get to sleep....

today's edition of "you can't make this stuff up."

so, you know I'm already freaking out over the brooklyn apartment paperwork. i've been watching my phones and email like a hawk so i can get all the paperwork done as soon as i receive it. i'm freaking out!

but here's the honest to god, you can't make this up, idiot correspondence i've had with the property manager in the last 48 hours:

Nov 7, 10:42am, Lynn to me
Stephanie, what you and Avery work out is between you two is between you. I will have the assignment over to you today so you can hand me the original signatures before you leave. Lynn

Nov 7, 12:08pm, me to Lynn
Lynn, sorry I missed your call. So, does this mean that we're back on to the original plan? Not a new lease?

Thanks,
Stephanie

Nov 7, 12:14pm, Lynn to me
yes

Nov 7, 12:28pm, me to Lynn
THANK YOU!!! That's such a huge relief.

Great. I'll keep an eye out for the paperwork to come via email.

Thanks again, Lynn.
Stephanie

Nov 7, 12:30pm, Lynn to me
I keep pushing my guy to hurry up!!!!

(now here's the doozy.)

Nov 8, 1:27pm, Lynn to me
Stephanie did you get the paperwork signed????

Nov 8, 2:10pm, me to Lynn
I never received any paperwork....?

now THAT's motivation

how do you know when your break from packing has lasted too long?

when a dark fuzzy creature deems it quiet and safe to come out and bolt across the livingroom floor.

the fucking mouse is back!!! and i am, of course, terrified that i'll accidently tape him inside a box and find him there in florida, and it will really, really suck!

seriously. i'll take a gator over a mouse any day.

stupid people are everywhere.

Today I've experienced a double dose of people who didn't do their jobs in time.

1) The property manager for my Brooklyn apartment was due to send me paperwork for final signoff YESTERDAY, but she never did. When I emailed her about it, she had a totally different story.

Original story:

• I can end my lease if I find someone to take it over for me
• That person would have to pass a credit check and approval
• That person and I would independently work out the financials of the security deposit and first month's rent
• That person and I would independently determine the lease-start and move-in dates.

New story:

• My lease ends on a date identified by my request in writing.
• My security deposit will be returned to me.
• The new tenant will pay their own security deposit.
• The new tenant will pay first month's rent.
• The new tenant will start a new lease for one year.

2) The HR department finally got around to reading my letter of resignation that I submitted nearly two weeks ago. There's an issue, apparently, with an end date of 11/23. I actually had to write a NEW letter of resignation with a NEW end date. I opted for an Addendum (we're fond of that word around here) indicating a final date of 11/16. If I had my way, I'd be outta here RIGHT NOW.

Seriously. Why are there so many dumb people in this world?

it's definitely crunch time.

i didn't think it was possible, but i've become more stressed out, more restless, more exhausted, more sleepless (or is that less sleepful?), and just suffering an overall dose of extreme emotional and mental fatigue.

i AM making progress. i have to keep reminding myself of that. it's just not totally visible right now, since i've somehow managed to make a bigger mess on my way to putting everything in boxes. but the stacks of packed boxes are growing higher. i had to move my bed again to allow for another row of stacks. i've emptied 6 out of 8 of my dresser drawers. i can do this. i can do this!!!

i also made an appointment for the cable to be installed, thanks to the heroic efforts of my aunt donna. i keep telling her she should rent herself out as an unpacking assistant of some sort. she's phenomenal.

and i went to target and got a fancy little cooler for my mom and michael to take in the truck for the drive to florida. i have to buy food and beer still (not to be consumed while driving, of course), but i'll do that on friday.

meanwhile, i STILL haven't received the new paperwork for the brooklyn apartment. i keep telling this broad that i'm leaving town soon, but she's too dense to understand the urgency. every single time i speak to her on the phone, i hang up and say "stupid bitch." i know it's harsh, but seriously. some people are just stupid bitches.

so, overall, i'm definitely nearing the point where it becomes a free-for-all dash of putting anything in any box and hoping for the best. i feel like i can't pack a lot of stuff until thursday or friday. as it is, i made a grilled cheese sandwich today by using plastic utensils. gave my sandwich a rich, smokey flavor. tomorrow, though, i think the mad dash begins. as long as everything fits in a box, and each box has a label, i'll be fine.

somehow, i still can't believe this is all happening. i'm SO excited. i know the next few days will go by way too fast, but i still wish i could just be there already, lounging by my pool, enjoying the perfect weather, and finally becoming one of those people who doesn't even remotely notice the loss of the harsh northern winter.

crikey!!

So get this. My mom and Michael went to my new apartment today to get the keys and check it out. She called me from inside the apartment, reminding me of all the reasons I loved it: the modern kitchen lighting fixtures, the brand new appliances, the new cabinets in the bathrooms, the huge windows, the bright sunlight, the gentle breeze on the front porch. It was all as I remembered it.

Then they took a walk outside. They checked out the pool, overlooked the tennis courts, and started to walk around the pond. My mom was in the middle of telling me about the huge box turtles when I heard Michael in the background say "That's no turtle! That's a gatah!"

"A WHAT?!" I screamed into my mother's good ear. "A GATOR? ALLIGATOR? IN MY POND?!?!"

I listened to them debate whether it was a turtle or a gator that they saw, until finally my mother agreed that they were in the presence of a "baby gator" that was "no more than a couple of feet long." Somehow, that doesn't make me feel a lot better. But Mikey assured me that as soon as it tries to eat someone's dog, it'll be removed from the premises. Comforting.

i'm feeling moderately goodish.

I've been multi-tasking this evening. I've continued on my quest to copy whatever home videos I have from VHS to DVD, and tonight was the dreaded Cheering Videos. Luckily, since I have other things to do, I don't have to sit there and hear the same song and watch the same routine 1900 times in a row. I'm doing it for Jessica, really. And also because I hope this means we can destroy the original tapes.

I'm pooped but heading to bed. Tomorrow I have to tackle the clothing situation. It's something of a disaster. I mean, it's a mess on a good day. Now it's just......there are no words.

Oh, and Oliver is supposedly going to bring my bike to me between 1-2pm. I don't know what to feel about that. I hope he doesn't try to get all talky chatty with me. Of course, I have the lowest of expectations. I'll be shocked if he gets here before 4pm.

And then I'm off to the derby! I'm terribly sad that it's my last derby here in NY, but I'm glad that it's a double-header and it sounds like several other friends and friends of friends may attend. I might wear my new I [skate] NY shirt. (Get it? [skate] instead of [heart]?) And I can finally give Beth her 3-month-late birthday present, which will likely be wrapped in bubble wrap with packing tape.

So I'm feeling like I'm making good progress. I'll most likely need to do another major box run before the week is out. I can get tons of them at work, but as it turns out, I have tons of crap at work that also needs to be packed somehow, and sent to Florida somehow.

But ooh! My favorite part of tonight is the anticipation of tomorrow, when my mother picks up my new apartment keys for me! It's the only time we can get them before I arrive late next Saturday -- I'd have to wait until the following Monday for the office to be open. So my mom's going tomorrow, and she's going to scout out the apartment for me. I'm SO excited for her to see it. Donna came with me when I looked at them, but my mom hasn't seen it yet. I hope Jess goes with her. Oooh, I'm excited!!!

making progress

What a day. No wonder I'm so exhausted.

My boss's wife finally had her baby today, so that's great news. We were all anxious for them, so now we can all exhale a little...except for them.

I spoke to my new boss's boss. Her name is Sue. Something about her phone presence startled me. It might have been her "You're not a Red Sox fan, are you?" comment, but in the end, I'm excited to meet her. It sounds like I'll be meeting her along with her boss, and one of my new colleagues, next Monday. I thought it was going to be a quick, half-hour affair, but I was wrong. It's going to be a whirlwind 3-4 hour, let's-have-lunch affair. Which means the whole idea of unpacking/moving in on that Monday morning will be a little difficult. Oh well.

My next trick was scheduling my exit interview with the woman from HR who is terrorizing my poor friend Brian with unjust mind tricks. He just wanted a flu shot! Give the guy a flu shot!

I also planned my (own) going-away party. It's going to be a karaoke sensation, a suitable final drunken hurrah with my colleagues. Well, some of them. Everyone's traveling, so it makes me a little sad. But it'll be fantastic no matter what. And I'm doing it TWO days before the move so I have time to be hungover and snap out of it. Go me!

Oh, and I opened a new bank account online. That's a new one for me. I used my new florida address (teehee) so I won't be able to get the mail until next week. Oh shit. We change the clocks this weekend. Will someone remind me please?

And my new tenant came by to pay me. THAT was fun!! We are splitting the November rent - 1/3 from me, 2/3 from him. So he gave me that check, and it turns out that 2/3 of my prorated new york rent is equal to 9/10 of my prorated florida rent. He just paid my first month for me! AND, he gave me the $1100 security deposit, which more than covers the $200 security I put down in florida. Cha-ching! Baby wants new furniture!

Speaking of furniture, I also sold some of mine to the new tenant. Those ceiling fans that Donna and I slaved over? Two for $75, wobbles included. And my semi-brilliant kitchen shelving? Sold to the highest bidder. So not only does it lighten my load for the move, but it puts more money in my pizzocket!

Finally, I packed a few more boxes. IMPORTANT ones! I brought home a stack of plastic cups today (that I'd bought earlier for one of the 16 baby showers I attended), so I packed all my drinking and wine glasses. And I have paper plates, so I packed all my dinnerware. It's starting to look a little bare in the kitchen! Yahoo!

Oh, and while I was packing, I copied a few more home videos from VHS to DVD. My quote of the night was Joanie, circa 1987, speaking on behalf of an infant Kirby, "I'm a real baby. I eat quiche."

Anyhow, I can't stop yawning so I'm off to bed. Maybe. It's covered with clothes. I might just sleep next to them...

premature nostalgia

I'm no fool. I know there will be some really cool things I miss when I leave New York. For example, the view of the Brooklyn Bridge that I see every morning on my way to work.

I took this today, unashamed by the "she must be a tourist" glare from morning commuters.

packing status

I'm really, really nervous that I won't be adequately (read: completely) packed when moving day arrives, so I went a little bonkers today.

I went to Home Depot and spent $138 on packing supplies.

• 4 small boxes = $8
• 3 medium boxes = $8
• 2 wardrobe boxes = $26
• 4 12-gallon plastic totes = $24
• 2 rolls plastic wrap = $16
• 1 roll bubble wrap = $6
• 1 box packing paper = $10
• 1 glassware packing set = $10
• 1 dishware packing set = $10
• 3-pack of file boxes = $10

Now, as of this posting, I've packed 14 boxes -- which is a good start for me. I even found a box suitable for my grandmother's hugeass heavy antique typewriter. I used my packing paper AND my shreddings to cushion it in the box. I definitely feel like I'm making progress.

One problem I've always had, however, is how to get the boxes out of my way once I've filled them and taped them shut. Usually they just sit in the middle of the kitchen, in my way, and become the surface area for future box fillings or other collected junk.

But this time, I had the brilliant idea to take advantage of my enormous bedroom. I moved my bed a few feet away from the wall, and started stacking the packed boxes up in the corner! I'm so freaking smart!

Plus, they're at just the right height to keep my alarm clock where I like it. Not that it wakes me up or anything. I really use it more as a nightlight.

it's not just dirt anymore

To: The entire department
Subject: an end to the rumors...

All,

Many of you have approached me to confirm rumors that I'm leaving, so I figured it was time to make it public information.

Yes, I am leaving ASME. My last day in the office is Friday, November 16.

I am relocating to Clearwater, Florida where a new job as a Business Analyst awaits, as well as my mother, sister, and my baby nephew (with whom I'm absolutely smitten).

While I'm obviously excited about the new adventure that lies ahead, I am equally sad to be parting ways with all of the fantastic people I've worked with at ASME.

So now you know. You ALL know. And you can stop whispering. :)

Stephanie

my need for approval

I have formally been approved at my new apartment! Hooray!! One more thing to check off the list...

(Did I mention it comes with a dishwasher, microwave, AND a washer/dryer? I'm in heaven!)

Who better, I guess...

My poor, over-worked, uber-stressed, daddy-any-day boss just asked me to write a job description for the position I'm leaving. I had no problem whatsoever helping him out, but writing the job description was a little weird.

First, I pulled up my resume. I scanned through the page-and-a-half list of what I do, and copied the key points from it into the new description.

Next, I thought about when we hired Katie, and which skills I knew she possessed that would contribute to the group.

Finally, I added typical job description jargon like "requires bachelor's degree" and "in lieu of experience".

When I was done, it was a full page long, and a little overwhelming. I wonder if it is overdone, overwritten, overwhelming. But I guess it's good to aim high...especially when I'M the one being replaced!

So, if you know anyone...or for those of you who wonder what it is that I do...

Electronic Project Facilitator – Job Description

The Electronic Project Facilitator performs a combination of roles and tasks to assist in the on-going development and expansion of several proprietary applications. The position requires the ability to own and manage a software application project from specification through final release and training. This includes:

· Analysis of business and end-user needs
· Write business requirements and specifications
· Manage each project based on unique schedule and resource needs
· Design user-friendly interfaces or improve existing interfaces
· Test and facilitate collaborative testing on new applications or features
· Troubleshoot bugs and help desk tickets as received from users
· Liaise with programming staff during development
· Design and perform software training for end users
· Document process and application information for both internal and external use
· Other responsibilities, as needed

Computer skills required:
· Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, Access)
· Microsoft Visio and/or Axure RP
· Adobe Acrobat
· Basic HTML
· Web servers and FTP
· General knowledge of computer systems and networking

This position requires a Bachelor’s degree plus experience in software or web application development environment. Advanced degrees considered in lieu of some related experience. Additionally, ideal candidates will have:

· Very strong written and verbal communication skills
· Technical communication skills a plus
· Basic public speaking skills
· Basic knowledge of XML a plus
· Basic understanding of databases
· Familiarity with using a wiki
· Familiarity with membership-based organizations
· Knowledge of User Experience and/or usability testing
· Ability to work well on a small, tightly-knit, highly functional team
· Ability to work on a wide variety of technical levels
· Familiarity of standards development or technical publishing a plus
· Ability to self-start and work independently with minimal guidance or direction
· A desire to understand and improve all processes and systems

busy, busy, busy!

Oh holy hell. If every day is going to be like this until the move, I'm gonna lose my mind.

Today, mostly at work, I accomplished the following:

• Left nasty message for negligent property manager (NPM) of Brooklyn apartment.
• Left gentle message with some poor girl to relay to the NPM of Brooklyn apartment.
• Had lovely, expenseable business lunch with Katie to discuss future team strategy
• Finally conversed with NPM, obtaining her fax number in the process.
• Received faxed application from new tenant (Avery), to be sent to NPM.
• Drafted formal letter requesting lease transfer to Avery.
• Attached Avery's application to my letter and faxed it all to NPM.
• Called new property agent in Florida, got her on first try! Got answers to all questions.
• Spoke to my mother to confirm that she could pick up my new apartment keys.
• Attempted to retrieve vacation time balance from Fancy HR Website only to discover gross errors.
• Marched down to HR department and demanded the correct information for appopriate planning of my LAST DAYS on the funny farm.
• After an hour or two, finally received correct vacation time balance.
• Scheduled my in- and out-of-office time for next 3 weeks.
• Attempted to retrieve my $134 balance on TransitChek, to no avail
• Went to the Container Store to buy fancy plastic toolbox/storage thing and two mattress bags
• Ordered -- and ate -- cheap Chinese food (steamed dumplings, tso's tofu, and pork fried rice, if you must know.)
• Spoke to Meghan from JetBlue to change what will be my FINAL FLIGHTS on the damned airline. Used two free tickets and a portion of my $458 sorry-it-took-14-hours-to-get-you-home-from-Tampa voucher.
• Wrote this blog so I'd feel good about accomplishing something.

Sleep sleep.

Packing can be fun sometimes.

What does it take to make reality set in? A tape gun.

Yesterday I started the major purge-or-pack routine, again, except with a stronger vengeance. I packed my first few boxes, and I have no place to put them that's out of the way, which of course puts my apartment right back into disaster mode. Expect photos of bruised shins in the near future.

However, packing was made extra fun by my dear aunt Donna who, by sending an ironically timed joke gift, has enabled me to be an organized packer. After her visit here in September, when she helped me UNpack my remaining boxes from the July move, she sent me a really awesome label maker. I mean, like, REALLY awesome. At the time it was intended to help me label the organizer boxes I was putting on shelves, but now it allows me to put very cool labels on every box!! I'm rather enjoying it.

Other than that, I turned on my shredder and went to TOWN yo! I found bank statements and pay stubs from 2001 with my Waltham address on them. That's like...at LEAST 5 addresses ago. (Brooklyn 2, Brooklyn 1, Manhattan 2, Manhattan 1, Brookline, Waltham.) And so I shred. And being the clever girl I am, I am keeping all the shreddings to use as packing cushioning for fragile stuff, so I'm shredding everything in sight. Shreddy shred shred. I heart shred.

So that's the scoop from the hood. Today's agenda: more shredding followed by packing whatever I decide is something I won't need for the next 3 weeks...and that's hard. I mean, I TOTALLY could have people over and play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit at any moment.

I should go into real estate!

So tonight I showed my apartment to numerous interested parties who are willing to take over my lease. Initially, I was going to show it tonight, tomorrow, and all weekend. But so many people came tonight that I'm closing up shop.

I have a total of 8 serious applicants, several of which wanted to give me a deposit on the spot, even though I didn't want one. So hopefully the property manager will like someone's credit check and I can move this whole process along quickly!!

In other news, I'm staring at the contents of my life wondering how I'm going to find time to pack it all up again. Yikes.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: When did you decide all this?
A: On Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 8:31 am EDT.

Q: How far will you be from your mom, sister, etc?
A: I'll be about 2 miles from my mom's house, about 30 minutes from my sister's, and about 3 miles from Donna's.

Q: What about Oliver?
A1: Who?
A2: What about him?
A3: Fuck him.
A4: There's nothing to discuss. He made his choice. He is not part of this equation.

Q: Are you hiring movers? Renting a truck?
A: Most likely renting a truck to be driven, hopefully, by Daddy Biscuit (Michael).

Q: Are you excited?
A: Of COURSE I am!! I'm sad too. Excited for new beginnings, sad to leave my friends in New York.

Major Change in Life Plans...

Okay, so please pardon the bluntness and suddenness of this email but...I've only just today received the final greenlights I needed. Allow me to anticipate your questions...

Out with it: I got a new job and I'm moving to Florida.

When? Soon. Very soon. I will start my new job on the Monday after Thanksgiving. My last day at work is going to be either Nov. 16 or 23.

What new job? I'm going to be a business analyst at a company in Oldsmar, FL.

How? Why? When did this happen? Oy. I've been casually looking for months, but all of a sudden things started to click. I wanted to move near my family (namely cute mr. dylan), and return to a lifestyle that I miss when I'm in new york. Plus, I now have to pay back my grad school loans, which, on top of my undergrad school loans, makes me mad broke. Cheaper life is better.

Where will you live? I found a great place in Clearwater that I'm VERY excited about. They're all brand new, remodeled apartments. I'm going to have 2 bedrooms, a washer/dryer (like seriously, my laundromat days are SO over), dishwasher (yahooooo!), and all that fun stuff. It even has a front porch! See for yourself at http://www.thebreyley.com/ . It's close to my mom, easy to get to work, and about 2 miles from the water. I'm STOKED.

Won't you need a car? Yup. Gonna get one.

But...but...: I know. It's all very sudden. But I'm super excited about it. Yay!

So, as usual, I'll give you details when the time approaches but I just wanted to let you all know!!! Yahoo!!!

Steph

Life Change To-Do List

So much to do. So much to do. SO MUCH TO DO.

• Accept new job offer - check
• Give notice at NYC job - check
• Call NYC apartment management - check
• Call FL apartment management - check
• Send email to family and friends - check
• Make a list of things to do, buy, sell, etc. - no check
• Email Tampa Bay roller derby and ask to join the team - check check!
• Go to 12:00 meeting - check
• Post ad for NYC apartment - check
• Apply and pay deposit for FL apartment - check
• Fax FL job paperwork - check, check twice
• Maintain sanity if at all possible - check
• Clean NYC apartment to prep for showing - semi-check
• Schedule applicants to view new apartment - check
• Cry at least once during each conversation with a friend or colleague - check
• Keep adding things to new lists - check