it's not just dirt anymore

To: The entire department
Subject: an end to the rumors...

All,

Many of you have approached me to confirm rumors that I'm leaving, so I figured it was time to make it public information.

Yes, I am leaving ASME. My last day in the office is Friday, November 16.

I am relocating to Clearwater, Florida where a new job as a Business Analyst awaits, as well as my mother, sister, and my baby nephew (with whom I'm absolutely smitten).

While I'm obviously excited about the new adventure that lies ahead, I am equally sad to be parting ways with all of the fantastic people I've worked with at ASME.

So now you know. You ALL know. And you can stop whispering. :)

Stephanie

my need for approval

I have formally been approved at my new apartment! Hooray!! One more thing to check off the list...

(Did I mention it comes with a dishwasher, microwave, AND a washer/dryer? I'm in heaven!)

Who better, I guess...

My poor, over-worked, uber-stressed, daddy-any-day boss just asked me to write a job description for the position I'm leaving. I had no problem whatsoever helping him out, but writing the job description was a little weird.

First, I pulled up my resume. I scanned through the page-and-a-half list of what I do, and copied the key points from it into the new description.

Next, I thought about when we hired Katie, and which skills I knew she possessed that would contribute to the group.

Finally, I added typical job description jargon like "requires bachelor's degree" and "in lieu of experience".

When I was done, it was a full page long, and a little overwhelming. I wonder if it is overdone, overwritten, overwhelming. But I guess it's good to aim high...especially when I'M the one being replaced!

So, if you know anyone...or for those of you who wonder what it is that I do...

Electronic Project Facilitator – Job Description

The Electronic Project Facilitator performs a combination of roles and tasks to assist in the on-going development and expansion of several proprietary applications. The position requires the ability to own and manage a software application project from specification through final release and training. This includes:

· Analysis of business and end-user needs
· Write business requirements and specifications
· Manage each project based on unique schedule and resource needs
· Design user-friendly interfaces or improve existing interfaces
· Test and facilitate collaborative testing on new applications or features
· Troubleshoot bugs and help desk tickets as received from users
· Liaise with programming staff during development
· Design and perform software training for end users
· Document process and application information for both internal and external use
· Other responsibilities, as needed

Computer skills required:
· Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, Access)
· Microsoft Visio and/or Axure RP
· Adobe Acrobat
· Basic HTML
· Web servers and FTP
· General knowledge of computer systems and networking

This position requires a Bachelor’s degree plus experience in software or web application development environment. Advanced degrees considered in lieu of some related experience. Additionally, ideal candidates will have:

· Very strong written and verbal communication skills
· Technical communication skills a plus
· Basic public speaking skills
· Basic knowledge of XML a plus
· Basic understanding of databases
· Familiarity with using a wiki
· Familiarity with membership-based organizations
· Knowledge of User Experience and/or usability testing
· Ability to work well on a small, tightly-knit, highly functional team
· Ability to work on a wide variety of technical levels
· Familiarity of standards development or technical publishing a plus
· Ability to self-start and work independently with minimal guidance or direction
· A desire to understand and improve all processes and systems

busy, busy, busy!

Oh holy hell. If every day is going to be like this until the move, I'm gonna lose my mind.

Today, mostly at work, I accomplished the following:

• Left nasty message for negligent property manager (NPM) of Brooklyn apartment.
• Left gentle message with some poor girl to relay to the NPM of Brooklyn apartment.
• Had lovely, expenseable business lunch with Katie to discuss future team strategy
• Finally conversed with NPM, obtaining her fax number in the process.
• Received faxed application from new tenant (Avery), to be sent to NPM.
• Drafted formal letter requesting lease transfer to Avery.
• Attached Avery's application to my letter and faxed it all to NPM.
• Called new property agent in Florida, got her on first try! Got answers to all questions.
• Spoke to my mother to confirm that she could pick up my new apartment keys.
• Attempted to retrieve vacation time balance from Fancy HR Website only to discover gross errors.
• Marched down to HR department and demanded the correct information for appopriate planning of my LAST DAYS on the funny farm.
• After an hour or two, finally received correct vacation time balance.
• Scheduled my in- and out-of-office time for next 3 weeks.
• Attempted to retrieve my $134 balance on TransitChek, to no avail
• Went to the Container Store to buy fancy plastic toolbox/storage thing and two mattress bags
• Ordered -- and ate -- cheap Chinese food (steamed dumplings, tso's tofu, and pork fried rice, if you must know.)
• Spoke to Meghan from JetBlue to change what will be my FINAL FLIGHTS on the damned airline. Used two free tickets and a portion of my $458 sorry-it-took-14-hours-to-get-you-home-from-Tampa voucher.
• Wrote this blog so I'd feel good about accomplishing something.

Sleep sleep.

Packing can be fun sometimes.

What does it take to make reality set in? A tape gun.

Yesterday I started the major purge-or-pack routine, again, except with a stronger vengeance. I packed my first few boxes, and I have no place to put them that's out of the way, which of course puts my apartment right back into disaster mode. Expect photos of bruised shins in the near future.

However, packing was made extra fun by my dear aunt Donna who, by sending an ironically timed joke gift, has enabled me to be an organized packer. After her visit here in September, when she helped me UNpack my remaining boxes from the July move, she sent me a really awesome label maker. I mean, like, REALLY awesome. At the time it was intended to help me label the organizer boxes I was putting on shelves, but now it allows me to put very cool labels on every box!! I'm rather enjoying it.

Other than that, I turned on my shredder and went to TOWN yo! I found bank statements and pay stubs from 2001 with my Waltham address on them. That's like...at LEAST 5 addresses ago. (Brooklyn 2, Brooklyn 1, Manhattan 2, Manhattan 1, Brookline, Waltham.) And so I shred. And being the clever girl I am, I am keeping all the shreddings to use as packing cushioning for fragile stuff, so I'm shredding everything in sight. Shreddy shred shred. I heart shred.

So that's the scoop from the hood. Today's agenda: more shredding followed by packing whatever I decide is something I won't need for the next 3 weeks...and that's hard. I mean, I TOTALLY could have people over and play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit at any moment.

I should go into real estate!

So tonight I showed my apartment to numerous interested parties who are willing to take over my lease. Initially, I was going to show it tonight, tomorrow, and all weekend. But so many people came tonight that I'm closing up shop.

I have a total of 8 serious applicants, several of which wanted to give me a deposit on the spot, even though I didn't want one. So hopefully the property manager will like someone's credit check and I can move this whole process along quickly!!

In other news, I'm staring at the contents of my life wondering how I'm going to find time to pack it all up again. Yikes.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: When did you decide all this?
A: On Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 8:31 am EDT.

Q: How far will you be from your mom, sister, etc?
A: I'll be about 2 miles from my mom's house, about 30 minutes from my sister's, and about 3 miles from Donna's.

Q: What about Oliver?
A1: Who?
A2: What about him?
A3: Fuck him.
A4: There's nothing to discuss. He made his choice. He is not part of this equation.

Q: Are you hiring movers? Renting a truck?
A: Most likely renting a truck to be driven, hopefully, by Daddy Biscuit (Michael).

Q: Are you excited?
A: Of COURSE I am!! I'm sad too. Excited for new beginnings, sad to leave my friends in New York.

Major Change in Life Plans...

Okay, so please pardon the bluntness and suddenness of this email but...I've only just today received the final greenlights I needed. Allow me to anticipate your questions...

Out with it: I got a new job and I'm moving to Florida.

When? Soon. Very soon. I will start my new job on the Monday after Thanksgiving. My last day at work is going to be either Nov. 16 or 23.

What new job? I'm going to be a business analyst at a company in Oldsmar, FL.

How? Why? When did this happen? Oy. I've been casually looking for months, but all of a sudden things started to click. I wanted to move near my family (namely cute mr. dylan), and return to a lifestyle that I miss when I'm in new york. Plus, I now have to pay back my grad school loans, which, on top of my undergrad school loans, makes me mad broke. Cheaper life is better.

Where will you live? I found a great place in Clearwater that I'm VERY excited about. They're all brand new, remodeled apartments. I'm going to have 2 bedrooms, a washer/dryer (like seriously, my laundromat days are SO over), dishwasher (yahooooo!), and all that fun stuff. It even has a front porch! See for yourself at http://www.thebreyley.com/ . It's close to my mom, easy to get to work, and about 2 miles from the water. I'm STOKED.

Won't you need a car? Yup. Gonna get one.

But...but...: I know. It's all very sudden. But I'm super excited about it. Yay!

So, as usual, I'll give you details when the time approaches but I just wanted to let you all know!!! Yahoo!!!

Steph

Life Change To-Do List

So much to do. So much to do. SO MUCH TO DO.

• Accept new job offer - check
• Give notice at NYC job - check
• Call NYC apartment management - check
• Call FL apartment management - check
• Send email to family and friends - check
• Make a list of things to do, buy, sell, etc. - no check
• Email Tampa Bay roller derby and ask to join the team - check check!
• Go to 12:00 meeting - check
• Post ad for NYC apartment - check
• Apply and pay deposit for FL apartment - check
• Fax FL job paperwork - check, check twice
• Maintain sanity if at all possible - check
• Clean NYC apartment to prep for showing - semi-check
• Schedule applicants to view new apartment - check
• Cry at least once during each conversation with a friend or colleague - check
• Keep adding things to new lists - check